KELLY
It was late 2003 and I was lying in my bed just about to drift off to sleep and thinking that at the rate I was going I'd never live to see 40. I wasn't even sure I'd make it to my NEXT birthday, much less 40. I was NOT comfortable AT ALL in my body. It was tiring to do anything and I had NO energy and I was in denial about why. I had heartburn regularly and pressure in my chest at night. I didn't like the picture in my mind. What scared me wasn't the idea of dying, but realizing how selfish it would be to the survivors to do anything about it.
I was a binge eater who for the most part was able to hide it. I had to commute about 45 miles to work on an "average day", so I ate alone in the car frequently and would stop to clean my car out so nobody would see the wrappers. I'd eat steak and potatoes for dinner and then after dinner, sneak crackers with A1 sauce on them. I'd work late and eat while I was there alone. I had a full size bag of cheese doodles on the way home from work in the evenings, hid crackers and chips in the end tables and rarely stayed in the same room with hubby in the evenings (couldn't sneak food that way).
So, on November 12, 2003, I decided I would at least try low carb for a little while. I thought about waiting until January for the "new years resolution" thing, but I thought even though Thanksgiving was just around the corner, I needed to start immediately. I wasn't sure January would arrive for me even. I decided that would get the risk pounds off and then I could go back to eating how I ate before (only less of it) and maybe I'd be okay. I'd be fat, but not morbidly obese. No, I did not see this as a way of life. YET!
I didn't exercise early on, but lost fine early on. This still amazes me that I stuck with this....I was barely out of induction when Thanksgiving arrived. I finally "WANTED IT" bad enough to do something about it. In April 2004, I had an in-ground pool put in my backyard. That's when my activity finally started, 6 months in. Granted, I was still big enough that it wasn't intense lap swimming, but it was movement and I played regularly and started feeling even better and even snuck in a few laps here and there. Unfortunately, I gave up the exercise when swim season was over that year.
Then in January 2005, I joined an exercise class. I didn't enjoy the exercise, but I enjoyed the company so I stuck with it until the class was canceled just when I was slowly getting to where I was liking to exercise. I made a friend who was the same weight as me. We did weekly weigh-ins and held each other accountable. No more exercise after the class stopped until swim season started....summer '05 I went to physical therapy for my back and I felt SO good about all the exercise I got and so much more energy with my back feeling better that when summer ended, I added in OTHER exercises AND went to the gym to swim inside. I'm ENJOYING exercising now. Early on, I started with 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there until the habit was formed. I strongly recommend exercising early, even in small doses. It DOES make a difference! Once you "discover" exercise, you'll wonder why you waited so long. I am so pleased with the results, but even more pleased with how I feel.
My initial goal was to just lose enough to not be at risk. Then I changed my goal to size 12. Once I hit 12's, I realized I was doing EXACTLY what Dr. Atkins warned us about in his books. He tells us to give serious consideration to what we want to be. He said, we probably don't expect to be models, however, "You may be looking to the other extreme, towards goals that are too modest, like less fat and relatively healthy" (thinking it's more than we can hope for). He says we should set our sights higher than that, shooting for ideal weight, excellent health, etc. It's realistic AND satisfying. Deep down, I know that's why I didn't post my stats at Low Carb Friends with my start and goal weights until after I hit the size 12 mark. I KNEW I wasn't doing it right, but the "ideal" me - well, the journey seemed WAY too formidable to ever achieve that again. So, I decided 8's would be great and they were!
I achieved my goal of 149 pounds and size 8 last July. I've been maintaining for a year now and I usually fluctuate between 137-140. After I hit size 8's and 149 pounds, I decided to change it to size 6, which ended up being only 4 less pounds than my original weight goal that had me in 8's.
I can't believe I'm in CONTROL of my eating this well! I'm in control of the mentality behind it and how I feel towards eating. I'm LOVING this feeling of being so in control of my own destiny!
For those just starting -- it is worth the time and effort! Please believe in yourself enough to make it happen! Once you get through the first few days, it gets easier, you feel better and it's not an option to not continue. Yes, it took me over a year and a half, but what is the amount of time that it will take, compared to the REST of your life? Every day on plan puts you one day closer to goal. Every day off plan puts you 3-4 days away further from goal. You're definitely NOT getting to goal by continuing what has never worked and what made you gain weight to begin with.
You can do it. Don't focus on what you are not having. Focus on what you CAN have! The choices with low carb are so much more succulent. Linda's recipes are AWESOME! And I LOVE her recipe "ratings" Yum!!
Has it ever been hard? Have I ever wanted potato chips? Have I ever caved and eaten things not on plan? Yep, of course! My journey was slow because of "gray areas" and mishaps when going up the carb ladder. But deep down, the determination, the reasons and the success kept me on track for the long haul, getting back on plan with the very next meal, not to mention the differences in how I feel. I weigh daily. (Dr. Atkins recommends frequent weigh-ins) I know it doesn't work for some (counterproductive), but it's required for me. I gain too quickly when I do gain and the daily affirmations are required for me to succeed.
This did eventually become a way of life for me, although it didn't start that way. I've learned SO much about myself on this journey and I'm confident that I can maintain my loss. I'd previously lost down to a size 10 from a size 16 by calorie counting. My loss was really fast. Unfortunately, I learned absolutely nothing about how I could maintain when I got there, so I gained it all back, plus about 40 pounds. The point? Keep to the book, some of you may be able to get into the fads and make it work, but the really fast stuff leaves out learning experiences and experience is the best teacher! I didn't ever do any of the fad stuff (fasts, etc.) that keep going around the board, just plain low carb moving up the ladder. And with Linda's recipes there's no need to get bored. After sticking with it for so long, it finally hit me that I had learned enough about myself and trends that I could easily maintain just by keeping my carbs at a certain level.
I hope that my Before and After photos and story will help at least one person realize they CAN do this! If I can, any of you can!